A material world

When I looked upon every pretty girl, I see money being invested on their beautiful body - the branded handbags, the expensive cosmetics, the glittering jewelry.

Maintenance comes at a price. Fuelled by their need to doll up, naturally these women will be looking for the men who have the ability to provide. (I think Mum is a dying breed or mebbe she sacrificing for the family... I dunno hey...)

Somehow, in order for men to be get into these women's consideration, they have to generate the income to support their wives-to-be. Yet, there are those like Qin, who are capable to provide sufficiently, yet they are the odd ones and perhaps that is why she turned lesbian...

It is a complicated world. At least, it is for Singapore - Women, Men...

Simplicity is never bliss in our society. Or mebbe I am feeling the pressure is bcos I am broke with just $200 in the bank and surviving on money in my insurance policies, which was saved for me by Mum and Dad over the years.

I feel incapable. When I looked into Ghim Hai facebook, I am drawn to his life. At least, he is able to provide for himself. I wondered the upbringing that Mum had provided is right for me. Somehow, I am worried for Jeremiah. Then again, with Raj around, I think he will be fine.

I yearn for a group of close knitted friends, not those with hi-byes and mahjong playing. Then again, whenever I looked into the people-t0-people relationships all are fueled by money.

No money no honey. Yet, no money no friends. And mebbe soon, no money no family.

I am tired of money-issues in my life. Why is money always an issue in providing a quality of life in this world.

It seems like in the world that we are living in is a place that is dependant on money.

How well you are able to survive is dependant on money. Those who says money cant buy happiness are often those who are unable to churn out the cold-hard cash. Stories of those who has a lot of money yet unable to find happiness often are singled out in papers as a form of propangda as an answer the hopelessness of the poor.

Business are thrived upon workers who never had enough money, making extraordinary profits which are shared by a priveleged few.

The idea of distributing wealth to the people is just an illusion. Income disparity always exist it is always on the government's ability to mask it and to pacify the anger of its people. And in Singapore's case, we are kept in our overtly priced housing estates.

Yet, it is this system that works for Singapore for the last 40 years or so. Caging people in their home loans, ensuring that they are law-abiding citizens. Holding back on their CPFs, masking it as a false pretence that it is for their long term good. Yet billions of dollars are lost.

Perhaps, it is our vanity and greed that kept us in this vicious cycle as we are threatened day to day by our mounting debts.

Singapore is a debt nation. In US, they have USD 13 trillion of public debt. In Singapore, we have US 13 trillion of private debt.

No wonder banks are getting richer, even when they are broke.

The system of saving gaia is a utopia dream when we failed to address the life style of people.

Perhaps, this world is in need of a major chaos to reboot on our social thinking - Armagedon perhaps...

A cool down period...

A quick check on facebook on her notifications... well as expected, she removed me from her friends list... Sometimes, she can make so much sense in her words, yet her actions are short sighted...

Perhaps, she was really pissed off with my personal message on MSN. Maybe, she has a special someone already... Or perhaps, she is doing this to get my attention... There are many possibilities... I will not know... And even if I asked, I doubt she would tell...

Somehow, there are so many aspects of her are alluring, yet, she could have a steel cold heart.
Well, they alway say a woman's heart is unfathomable...

Let it pass, Alvin... You should set your sights to higher grounds... to higher targets...

I know you have bipolar affective disorder... And u do get out of control at times... especially when u are emotional attached or during the period of the new moons...

I know love for you is never easy... And the road ahead is arduous...

But nothing is impossible... Have some faith...

The world is around is never fair... And even u have attain all the wealth ahead, it will never be equalised... Ideologies aside... It is about survival.

I dun wan to end up selling used goods on Sungei Road or wandering aroung in East Coast Park...

I must carve a future for myself... Be it for retirement or future happiness...

I believe in yourself...

As for you, Gigi, I hope if you will still treasure me as a friend and come back again...

If not, I hope you can keep on believing in your dreams... Adieu Adieu...

A greater fool...

In this world, I am alone...


I have expected more and expected high, yielding a cold and broken heart...

I have always looked into the past, dreamed about the future; yet, I am vegging day by day...

And thus, my status quo...


I cannot looked at myself with joy, as my life is painted with much sorrow...


I have yearned for a love, yet everytime I loved, the pain gets deeper...


My condition ain't getting better... I am wored out...